She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I pour the whiskey from now on
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
