I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
