Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
