Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
