It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
