12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
