I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I forgot wine drunk hurts
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
