no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
