Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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