so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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