Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
home. puking in laundry basket.
In America we eat man semen.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
