I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
