Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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