I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
