She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
