I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
