who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
