and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize