she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
