I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
