I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
