i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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