oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
