So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
