He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think i have two assholes
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize