Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
