She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
