Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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