WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
