I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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