The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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