Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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