Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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