..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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