I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
