So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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