But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
