Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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