I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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