VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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