i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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