I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
