From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
dude. I can hear the air.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
