She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
