We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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