got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
