some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
