I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize