Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
