Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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